EngineerHer

I’ve written before about elements of leadership, but today I want to write about the topic in more general terms. I got a lovely thank you card from someone a few weeks ago – someone I didn’t think I had had a major impact on, but one line really resonated with me:

You showed me not only what kind of leader I can be, but what kind of leader I deserve.

Now, I’m not going to name the person who sent this to me – I haven’t asked permission for a start. But it touched me deeply. Because so often, we don’t think about the kind of leadership we deserve – we think mainly about how we can lead.

So, today, I want to talk about the kind of leadership we deserve.

Inclusive

A few years ago now, Síle Walsh wrote Inclusive Leadership: Navigating Organisational Complexity. Now I’ve had some great chats with Síle over the years, I’ve even appeared on her podcast. So it should come as no surprise that I consider her work in this area hugely important and engaging.

Anyone even pretending to be a leader in the modern workplace needs to consider the role of inclusivity and what it means to them and to their teams. And ok, a lot of the time in engineering, inclusivity only really includes gender, but there are other things to consider as well.

I keep nattering on about gender in engineering, but there are plenty of areas that we, as engineers, should be looking at improving:

• gender
• orientation
• neurodiversity
• colour
• PPE fit
• clothing

(The above is not an exhaustive list!)

When we’re looking at either our own leadership abilities or assessing someone else, we need to consider how they incorporate inclusivity into their role.

This can be as simple as asking one person for their feedback before a meeting, because they like time to formulate their replies, whereas another person is perfectly happy to speak off the cuff. One person might prefer communicating via email and another thing email is the tool of the Devil and should never be used until in times of dire peril.

And yes, this means getting to know your people. Some people can come in early as you like to work but by 4pm are wiped out and will not be able to stay late. Others struggle to make it in for 10, but have no issue working til midnight. (Hopefully not too often though!) For most knowledge workers – and engineers are, by and large knowledge workers – working asynchronously doesn’t matter than much.

How does your team, and each individual in it, work best? How do you work best?

Now you need to look at how to amalgamate those together.

Fairness

Now, you might think inclusivity inherently contains fairness, but it’s not always the case. A good leader will not treat all their people equally – mainly because their people don’t want to be treated equally. And they don’t deserve to be treated equally.

Most places have, for example strict rules about taking time off, working from home etc. And for most people those work great as general guidelines. But there are always exceptions. When you have someone working – for example – 20 days on the trot because of a crisis, that is not the time to be counting holiday hours pedantically. Just let it go. Seriously.

Equally, someone with a tough personal life might be a bit more erratic with their hours than someone with a more stable personal life. If they’re getting through their work – leave it be.

That’s not to say I don’t have tough conversations with my team. I do. We address issues within the team like that – within the team.

But if someone is struggling a bit with one area of life, still managing to keep up with the work life – cut them some slack.

Openness

I share what information I can with my team. And I expect my manager to do the same. Of course there are times when I can’t share info – and a lot of the time I will tell the team, “Look, there is more info here, yes, but I’m not allowed share it just now. I will as soon as I can.”

But I will explain decisions if someone cares to listen. I will work through with someone a corporate decision or process when they don’t make sense to people. I will try and help people understand the workings of my mind. (Admittedly, that last one is a bit daunting for most people…)

But I am open in what is and isn’t up for grabs. I’m clear about what I can and can’t achieve. There is rarely any doubt about where people stand with me.

(I have one of those faces that keep talking even after I shut my mouth)

That openness isn’t always pleasant. It ties into having those tough conversations. It involves saying “yeah, I was really pissed off when I found that out. Please let me know in advance next time.” I have to be aware of myself, my emotional state, my mental state as well as everything else, when receiving good or bad news.

And this also includes an open door policy. OK, so I don’t have an office to have an open door, but my people know they can get hold of me when they need to. And they also know the times I’m very much not available unless someone is dying. (And even then – it might depend on who’s dying)

What we deserve

I mentioned at the start that quote where I showed someone the type of leader they deserved. That brought a tear to my eye. Because we so often sell ourselves short in this area.

We work so hard to prove ourselves worthy, that we forget our leaders have to do the same. A leader who leads, with intent, inclusivity, fairness and openness, will far outperform one who doesn’t. Any leader worth their salt will listen to feedback – actively seek it out from their teams and others within the organisation.

Start by looking at managers you did well with. The ones that you’d go back to work for in a heart beat if they asked. Then look at the ones that honestly, you’d not sure if you’d waste your spit on them if they were on fire – yes, they will also teach you things about what you value in a leader.

One of the most important things I value? Letting me get on with things. I’m not overly fond of meetings, presentations etc. I want to just get on and do my job. And honestly – most of the time I know what that job is better than anyone else. So, just leave me to it. After 23yrs, I don’t need that much direction.

Now, I also value a manager who is there when I do need them. Even if – like last week – I’m going into their office saying “look, you can’t do anything about this, I just need to moan at you for a few mins”. God bless my manager – he listened. And agreed – there was indeed nothing he could do about it.

But there have been times I’ve needed him to jump in and take care of things. And he does it. What more could I want?

But that’s me and that’s my personal needs. We each need to work out what we need and deserve from our leaders. And then drive that expectation. Assess the leader in the interview, get some feedback on how they manage teams, look for the happy and the disgruntled employees (or former employees). Anyone who says they have no disgruntled former team members is lying or a bad leader.

But most importantly – don’t downplay your worth! You deserve a better class of leader!