EngineerHer

“Good morning, Orlagh, you look tired, is everything alright?”
It’s a bit disturbing how often my boss greets me with this phrase – or a variation thereof. And honestly, he’s right. I am tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally – I’m exhausted. And that’s ok.

I searched for “Why am I tired all the time?” or “what causes tiredness?” on Google. The sheer number of results is astounding.

Why are we so tired?

I know why I’m feeling this way. And, if you think about it, so do you. Whether you’re focused on working through your shadows, or keeping up with a myriad of family activities, or your professional life is being tossed from pillar to post, or you have an illness – either chronic or acute… well it’s not wonder you feel this way.

And that’s before we get into all of this!! {gestures wildly at the world in general} Keeping up with the news along is adding to our already heavy “tired” load.

In the modern world we have access to all sorts of information at all times at our disposal. And while most of the time, I see this as a good thing, when I see so many people worrying about tiredness, I start to question things a bit.

Expectations in modern life keep growing. We think we must do far more than our ancestors had, just in basic expectations. Especially as women. The day job, the childcare and rearing, the marriage stuff, the housework… Now, this isn’t to say that women following a more traditional role, such as a housewife or stay-at-home mother aren’t stressed and tired as well. Most certainly not. Even that work load is hefty!

My point is that no matter what we’re doing, we’re living to higher standards than ever before. It’s taking a toll as we find ourselves utterly tired. How many of us are cutting short of sleep to keep up with what are now considered basics?

Who is skimping on leisure time, rest time, because there’s always one more job to do?

Technology

If you think back to the ads that were prevalent as electricity and new technology came into the home, they all emphasised how much time this was going to free up. It didn’t. What happened was, that we started expecting our homes to be cleaner, to have more clothes, food became a nutritional battleground…

Add in how many of us are so generously gifted a smartphone at work – allowing us to keep up to date with our emails and teams messages even during our off hours. Do we ever switch off?

And if it’s not a smartphone you have at work, you almost certainly have one of your own. And then the internet, with all it’s wonderful news, information, notifications…

We’re experiencing information overload.

And the technology that is meant to help us is at least partially causing the damn problems.

So what do we do?

Well, here the thing. What follows could be posted in multiple different blogs all across the internet. The advice isn’t new or inspiring or revolutionary. Maybe except the last one.

Set aside time for technology free life. Turn off the smartphone – or at least the work phone. Turn off the telly. Take some time to get outside if at all possible.

Spend time in nature. And nature can be your back yard. It doesn’t have to be a massive hike or major holiday.

Go barefoot. OK, not advisable everywhere, but if you can at all, it will help.

Maintain good sleep hygiene. Going to bed at the same time every day and waking up at the same time every day. Not having a massive lie on at the weekend. Not staying up late scrolling through YouTube videos.

Get physically as well as mentally tired. Very often, we are mentally exhausted but our bodies are full of energy. This doesn’t lead to good outcomes. And can lead to increased stress.

Actually – look into stress management.

If all else fails – look into meditation.

I lied.

Meditation probably should be the first thing you try, if I’m honest. It has loads of benefits and help.

But the surprise add-on?

You know you’re an adult, right? (Or you should be, reading this blog – I swear far too much to be child friendly.)

And being an adult means you get to decide what your standards are.

Let’s say it again for the people in the back: you get to decide what’s important for you and what isn’t.

That means if having a clean kitchen every night isn’t important – don’t sweat it. Figure out what works for you.

Cooking a meal from scratch doesn’t appeal, but spending on pre-prepared meals or veggies or whatever works really well? Brilliant.

Spending on comfortable pyjamas is really important but t-shirts you can take or leave? Good for you.

This is why getting to know yourself is the first step in any of my coaching programs. And it’s as true in your spiritual life as your professional life as your domestic life.

You are an adult and you get to decide what is important for you in life.

Down to the brand of bread you buy. Or the route you take to work. A quick detour by a particularly nice bit of landscape helps you face the day? Go for it. No one else’s business.

Design the life you want to live.

Even if it’s low income. Even if it’s not “ideal” according to general societal standards. It doesn’t matter.

Your life is yours to live and how you choose to live it is up to you.

We all have choices. Let’s make the most of yours!