EngineerHer

I was asked the other day why I post about the things I do. And it cropped up on the same day I posted this on LinkedIn.

It’s a page from my page-a-day calendar that reads:

Be for others, what you needed, when you had no one

And honestly, this is why I post about these things. Most of the things I post about don’t bother me any more. Bathrooms usually aren’t an issue. Very few people try to tell me I know nothing about the things I do know about. Physical harassment hasn’t happened in years. And since I’ve reached 40, I appear to have become invisible to members of the groups that like to make sexual innuendo their means of oppression.

(Honestly, that last one in particular is a relief. I can relax so much now about what I wear to work, how it will be taken, etc.)

What’s important about vocalising?

Well, here’s the thing. Unless we speak about the issues we have and why they are issues, others have the space to be able to say they didn’t realise.

• “I didn’t realise my commenting on your clothes daily was a problem.”
• “I didn’t realise that talking about things you had no knowledge of with no efforts to include you in conversation was an issue. “
• “I didn’t realise not inviting you to lunch was a problem – you never said anything.”

And then when you do say something? You may be seen as being over-sensitive. Not a good sport. Not able to take the craic. It’s only “bants” after all. No one really takes it seriously.

And then, when you head over to HR or your manager, the first question they ask is: “Well, have you mentioned this to the person in question?”

Sometimes, it’s categorically not safe to do so. And if you’re in that situation, I’m so sorry for you. I will also point out, that if you’re in that situation, now is a great time to look for a new role in Ireland anyway. Engineers are moving all over the place!

So, while I can’t come to your workplace and explain just how damaging this sort of conversation is sometimes (well, I can if you want to pay me for it, but I might be a bit too direct…) I can raise awareness of these issues by writing about them.

Raising awareness will hopefully mean when you go talk to HR or your manager or indeed, someone else about why this seemingly small issue is actually not small at all, they might understand it!

Am I not scared of vocalising?

Well no. I’m not. I’ve learned that fear is a way that people maintain control over me. It’s not usually based on anything. And yes, sometimes I do worry that I’ve been a bit too outspoken, or a bit too direct. But I get that in the workplace as well as on the blog.

I’m also lucky enough to live in Ireland, where there are employee protection laws. There’s no such thing as “at-will” employment and I hope there never will be. Even as a contractor, there needs to be due process followed.

I’m usually careful to say I’m speaking on my own behalf and not on my employer’s behalf as well. If I mention my employer at all. And most employers in Ireland these days, take diversity and inclusion seriously. It’s no longer just enough to slap a one-page policy in place and call it quits. There has to be evidence of working to improve inclusion and diversity. Any engineering team these days that is 100% make would be looked at a bit oddly. I mean, ok, 50/50 would be better, but we are improving.

And as more women come into engineering, we are gaining momentum on these issues.

But that also means many of the previously obvious issues have now gone underground.

Changing the goalposts

I will keep writing about the issues we see as women in engineering. But the goalposts do change.

As I said at the start, most of us no longer need to argue for the need for usable bathrooms. Appropriate maternity leave protections and breastfeeding allowances are also written into law in this country.

But the devil is in the detail…

Many civil engineers will tell you of the experience of getting to a site, only to find the key to the women’s bathroom can’t be found and the entire site knows the visiting engineer needs the bathroom before she can actually use the facilities. Many will tell you of redundancies happening while they were on maternity leave and they were included in them, despite other factors that should have been considered.

I hear many stories of women seemingly stuck in the same job for years while their male counterparts advance and move on. Or at least get more interesting challenges to deal with. (I’ve a whole post on this sort of thing!)

And this can lead to some men claiming “women are never happy”; “give an inch, they take a mile” that sort of conversation.

Having to view women as equals in the workplace can prove problematic for some men.

(See how careful I’m being there? #notallmen)

When will it end?

I’m not sure we will ever get away from there being different challenges to the less represented gender in any workplace. I speak about women in engineering because that’s where my experience is. (Yes, there are places where men are the under represented gender. I strongly suggest if you are concerned about them, go read about them, learn about them. That’s out of my lane)

I have stated before that I hope by the time I retire, people will no longer react with “wow” when I say I’m an engineer. I hope that it will be a normal occurrence for a woman to enter this field. And don’t get me wrong, we need more engineers and we need more women engineers.

Cutting out half the population from the profession isn’t going to help us fix the world’s problems. Who is going to solve the energy crisis? Health and sanitation concerns? Food supply? Climate change?

Who else, but engineers? This is our job!!!

We solve problems. The problem is, we don’t always consider the problems we’re undergoing ourselves as priorities to be fixed. Or we feel that even raising the issues is problematic in and of itself. Or other people try to make us feel that way.

I will stop speaking about these problems when I stop hearing women talk about them.

And the more people say “these aren’t real issues”, the more I’m likely to dig in and see what’s happening. Because belittling the problems is another way oppression works.

In other news, I am putting together a small group of 5 women to work through an 8 week program to follow my 6 step program and overcome the visible and invisible barriers that stop us moving forward in work. If you are interested, drop me an email:info@engineerher.org. Cost is deliberately kept low because this is the first time I’ve done this in a group setting, but will be in the region of €800 for the full course and payment plans are an option.

Not sure if I’m right for you? No problem. Here’s the feedback one of my previous clients passed on:

I can’t express enough gratitude for what Orlagh has done for me over the past three months. When I first came to her, I had only a vague idea of what I wanted to focus on. Through her thoughtful questioning and insightful exercises, she guided me to explore my thoughts deeply, helping me gain clarity and direction.

It’s been truly transformative to witness how my thought processes have shifted, allowing me to recognize the small but significant things that were holding me back. Thanks to my sessions with Orlagh, I’ve become more self-aware, which has created the space for personal growth in the areas we’ve been working on.

Orlagh has an incredible ability to make you feel comfortable and understood, as if you’ve known her for years. Her warmth and genuine nature allowed me to open up and be vulnerable, feeling safe to face truths I had buried and avoided. Her kindness and encouragement have been invaluable, and the tools she’s provided have helped me uncover and confront what I needed most.

And if you want to have a chat before signing up, that’s also no problem. Drop an email to info@engineerher.org and we’ll set something up!