EngineerHer

I get a lot of emails and questions around what coaching is and isn’t. So I’m running a series now on what coaching isn’t. (And will hopefully get back into the swing of actually publishing posts again on a weekly basis. )

I know this might seem counter intuitive when I’m talking about coaching, but it’s true.

For a long time, I saw myself as a pawn in the engineering industry. I couldn’t influence the hiring trends. I couldn’t create the perfect job for myself.

Or couldn’t I?

Well… here we go.

Mental work first

I had to do a lot of internal work with myself before I started seeing the right opportunities in the work place. Yes, this is where the career assessment tool started from. And the whole six-step program came from.

Seriously, I had to allow my mind to accept a few things:

• I have saleable skills
• I am willing to learn new things
• I have the ability to learn new things
• I have a flexible mindset
• I have transferrable skills
• I am worthwhile
• I am definitely worth employing
• I have control over which jobs I apply for and which jobs I accept
• I don’t have to apply/accept everything
• I can negotiate

The hardest thing there for me to accept was “I am worthwhile”. I was really bought into the whole “I’m lucky to have a job”.

Don’t make waves.

Stay quiet.

Just keep on keeping on.

It’s worse elsewhere. Or at least as bad.

Everyone deals with this sort of shit.

How do you deal with this though?

Tackling your beliefs is a foundational aspect of pretty much any coaching journey. There are loads of different methods for doing this and I will suggest that getting someone to help you with this, is a really good idea. (Interested in using me? Use this link to set up a free 30min call to talk about what’s bothering you. You’d be amazed what we can do in 30mins.)

But tackling those core beliefs is pretty essential before anything else.

And one of the core beliefs you may have to tackle, as I did, was that you are not a pawn in someone else’s game. You are the main character in your own game. You call the shots.

Now, there are occasions when you feel you have no shots to call, but there are always decisions to be made, even if you feel they aren’t real decisions. For example, I have never handed in my notice without having another job to go to. That’s something I hold dear. And this is despite the fact that when I go looking for a new role these days (ahem, for my current employers – not doing this right now, ok?) I find something I’m happy with pretty quickly.

But it’s not always the case, and this is where the next step comes in.

Being flexible

For years, I thought I was good for nothing more than working in maintenance, as a planner, scheduler, maybe a reliability engineer one day?

Or that I’d never be a manager. Certainly not a senior manager.

Now, I’m looking around my place of employment and there’s really not enough engineers more senior than I am around the place. Or at least, not enough for my liking. Turns out, I am a senior engineer now. How the hell did that happen?

Well, mainly by being flexible about what roles I was interested in. It’s hard sometimes to get the promotion internally. It’s definitely easier to get a pay rise going externally. But sometimes the promotion doesn’t have to be in your direct line of management.

But there are other options you can look at.

• same job, different industry
• different department
• new technology
• new software (except SAP. My hatred for that system is well-known (as a CMMS), I think. And I have rejected job offers on the basis they wanted me to use it…)
• develop skills on the side and then bring them into work

Honesty

This is probably the hardest one of all. You must be honest with yourself. With your coach as well, but most of all with yourself.

• Are you over- or under-estimating your skills?
• What does my feedback from my manager say?
• What do my peers think of me?
• What do my other colleagues think of me?
• What highlights and lowlights can everyone remember about me?
• Do I have the energy to commit to this?
• Do I have the home support, external-to-work support, familial support to do this?
• What areas do I need to compromise on to achieve the next step?
• Are those areas ok for me to compromise on?

And possibly most importantly:

• Do I really want this?

Seriously. You’d be amazed how often people think they must progress up the ladder to achieve what they want in their career.

And ok, in many companies, progressing up the ladder is sometimes the only way to get those pay rises. And very often, beyond a certain level, that ladder? Is management. Which, let’s face it, not everyone is cut out to do.

So, be honest with yourself. What do you need to do to get what you want from work?

What does this mean for coaching?

Well, of course you need the right coach.

You need a coach that is 100% committed to your transformation. But you also need to be 100% committed to your transformation. And bring 100% of yourself to the process. Because otherwise, how will the coach know what to ask and when to ask it?

You get out of coaching what you put in from it. (Rather like the old CMMS proverb: “shit in, shit out”) So, if you’re looking for a coach and are thinking this person needs to do everything for me and I just sit back and receive and things will change effortlessly? You’re not ready for coaching yet. Seriously.

But if you are ready to take that responsibility, put in the hard work, deal with the tough questions, then maybe you’re ready to take the leap. If so – book a call here!