EngineerHer

Look, we’re back in work now after the holiday break (if you got one!) for almost a month. Although, if you were in Ireland for the week of the 6th Jan, that might not have felt like a proper work week. Trapped as we were by snow…

So, you may have started noticing or recognising a return of the Sunday Scaries… let’s talk about what you can do about this!

What are the Sunday Scaries?

If you are of a certain age, and Irish, this link may bring about a case of the Sunday Scaries. Glenroe was a soap aired on Sunday nights in Ireland, from 1983 to 2001. Yes, I know, I’m dating myself. But it aired at 8pm on a Sunday night and was the official sign that the weekend was over.

This was usually about the stage when kids all over the country remembered things like homework, things they needed for school, notes to be signed, etc, etc, etc. It was accompanied with that slow, creeping realisation that the weekend was over, the work week/ school week was back and things were “back to normal”.

That’s the most basic example of the Sunday Scaries I can think of. It’s that creeping sense of dread that accompanies the end of the weekend. Now, I’m lucky. I don’t usually experience this these days, but I’m going to take a few mins here to talk through a few different kinds of Sunday Scaries and what that might mean for you.

“Best turn on the alarm”

OK, look, back in the day before phones came with calendars and alarms and repeatable alarms, setting the alarm was a Big Deal. Even clock radios were a massive advance on the previous systems.

So, these were the days when you had to remember to turn back on the alarm on a Sunday night. Or if you were really old school, make sure the clock was wound up!

Now, this today can translate to making lunches, organising clothes, making sure the laptop is in the bag, that sort of thing.

This level of Sunday preparedness isn’t really stressful. It’s just what needs to be done to get ready for the week. You’re not feeling stressed, you might even be feeling excited for the week ahead. Yes, these people do exist! I’m one of them!

This is probably the best case scenario, if you think in terms of the impact your job has on your life.

Sunday afternoon scaries

OK this is a step up. You can relax and enjoy most of the weekend, but starting sometime on Sunday afternoon, you start getting a low level feeling of dread in your tummy. Work definitely isn’t ideal. Now, if this is a once off, cos of a difficult meeting ahead or knowing there’s a rough conversation to be had, it’s not too bad. That’s situation specific.

But if it’s a constant? Well that’s a different kettle of fish. If you know heading into Sunday afternoon/ evening that the week ahead is going to be survivable at best, then there’s something wrong. This might be due to too much work. A bad relationship with your boss. A constant nagging feeling that you’re not doing the right work, or not doing it the way that’s needed. A sense of drowning.

At this point, I’m going to suggest a review of your career. Is there support you can avail of, in or out of work? Are there people you can talk to? Is it time to think about a move?

Only you’ll know the answers to these things, but really, if you’re in this position, it’s highly likely that you’re going to end up in the next phase…

Your weekend is ruined from the Sunday Scaries!

This is where you already dread coming back into work before you leave on Friday afternoon. And yes, this real. There are some people who never turn off from work. (Honestly, I think a lot of them could do with reading last week’s post!)

But in this case, it usually isn’t just at the weekend you get the scaries. At this stage, you’re possibly waking up at night. You might feel nauseous. Your health is probably suffering. There’s a fair chance, if you’re like me, you’re crying regularly in work, on the way to work, on the way home from work…

Basically, this is an emergency situation. Work is not meant to be like that!! And there is a better way. Really and truly.

Now, those who say your career isn’t worth your health are right. But most of us can’t afford to walk away from a role, because we don’t have other income. We don’t have endless supplies of funds or resources. We have people who depend on us bringing in money every week or every month.

So, this means taking a break and taking a strategic approach. If you’re lucky enough to work in an environment with sick pay, use it now. Go to your doctor, explain the situation, say you need a break, get a note. Trust me when I say you need this time.

This isn’t failing, this is recognising you need help.

Now, if you’re not in a situation where this is possible, take what time you can, even if it’s insisting on taking your lunch break for once. Seriously, you need this.

However long you have, I can guarantee it will take longer than you think to return to normal and it may need medical support to do so. Don’t push this away, it’s more efficient in the long run.

Once you’ve regained some balance and some sense of self-respect again, it’s time to start looking for a new role. I’m being really serious here. This is not the time to be thinking a bad situation that’s been going on for months will rectify itself imminently. It won’t. There are no magic wands here. Have a look at the career assessment tool I provide. If you can afford it, look at hiring a career coach (yes, that could be me if you wish)

But make some changes. Because it really isn’t worth going through this every day, day in, day out….

So, from here?

Well ok, I’m going to say even if you’re happy enough with your current role, something like my career assessment tool is worth looking at. If you’re in stage 2 of 3 of the Sunday Scaries – check it out now!

Your situation won’t change unless you find the wherewithal to change it yourself. And even in the worst of economies, some people manage to find good, exciting, engaging work. Why shouldn’t you be one of them?