EngineerHer

Back in December, I wrote about setting boundaries. One of the major areas where I find people struggle is leaving work at work. So, I’m going to talk about a few techniques to help with drawing a line between work and not-work lives. Some of these may seem simplistic, but honestly, they work wonders.

Start of work day and end of work day rituals

I know this seems really airy-fairy, talking about rituals.

But, really, a ritual is just a series of actions performed regularly. OK, there’s a more complicated definition…

1. an established or prescribed procedure for a religious or other rite.
2. a system or collection of religious or other rites.
3. observance of set forms in public worship.
4. a book of rites or ceremonies.
5. a book containing the offices to be used by priests in administering the sacraments and for visitation of the sick, burial of the dead, etc.
6. a prescribed or established rite, ceremony, proceeding, or service:the ritual of the dead.
7. prescribed, established, or ceremonial acts or features collectively, as in religious services.
8. any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner.
9. a prescribed code of behavior regulating social conduct, as that exemplified by the raising of one’s hat or the shaking of hands in greeting.
10. Psychiatry. a specific act, as hand-washing, performed repetitively to a pathological degree, occurring as a common symptom of obsessive-compulsive neurosis

That’s from dictionary.com in case you were wondering. Number 8 and 9 are the two definitions I’m looking at here. A pattern of behaviour helps your brain take the short cut to say, “Oh, OK, we’re doing this right now” without you putting too much effort in.

Yes, I’m all about cheating when it comes to things like this. If you’re interesting in how habits form and how to use how our brain works to help form habits, check out Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s fascinating, but also practical. Which I love.

So, the point of start of work day and end of work day rituals? It lets your brain know you are now in work mode and now out of work mode. But what can you include in these rituals? Well here some ideas…

Turning on and off your laptop

Or PC or whatever you use. Seriously. If you work on a laptop/ computer for most of your day, this is the single easiest thing you can do to signal to your brain what’s going on. Opening up and turning on your laptop in the morning. Shutting it down and closing the damn thing in the evening.

It’s a specific conscious act that is a very clear signal to your brain that this, now is what’s happening.

As a side benefits, it also means:

• any software updates happen pretty regularly
• saving energy
• resets software and clears RAM, apparently this helps performance
• extends your hardware and battery life
• reduces digital clutter – all those temp files…

So, y’know all sorts of benefits. Aside from the mental ones!

Change your clothes

Ok, look, I know this one in particular can seem like a pain in the neck. I get it, I really do. Especially if you’re working from home and not going to be seeing anyone.

I’ve done my days in jammies, claiming internet issues for not going on camera. (Just for my boss’s info, there are sometimes actual internet problems as well, ok? )

But, even if you are in jammies all day, I strongly recommend you change into a new, clean pair of jammies at the end of the work day. It helps reset the day in your mind, and move into a different mode. Even better if you get the chance to have a shower and literally wash the day off you. Who says you have to shower in the morning?

Even if a shower is out of the question, just the changing of the clothes is a clear, visible, concrete signal to your brain that you are changing state. Work to not-work or not-work to work, it doesn’t matter…

Do something different

If you’re spending all day in meetings and sitting at a desk, then mark the end of the work day with a bout of activity. I mean, ok, you might not feel like a 2hour long workout after a long day in the office, but try something.

Go for a walk.

Do some yoga. Hell, do a single yoga pose.

Try some meditation.

Light a candle.

Have a cuppa and a sit down.

The idea here is that you are physically doing something to highlight to your brain that you are not switched off to work and switched on to not-work.

And yeah, ok, the commute can be useful for this. I mean, if you’re driving I don’t recommend the yoga or the candle, but you can slap on a radio program you like, an audio book or a podcast.

Honestly, the changing of clothes/ shower comes in under this as well, but there are benefits to doing something physical after a day of sitting down.

And if you have a really active job and you’re on your feet all day, using loads of energy – lean more towards the meditation, gentle, easeful things….

What happens when the work brain just won’t shut up?

OK, here’s the heavy hitters. There are some times when even with the best will in the world, your brain is hanging on to work like it’s a life-bouy and you’re sinking…This can happen in times of great stress or in times of great excitement. Either way, the same methods can work.

(As an aside, if you’re going through more than 6 weeks of continued stress, I’d highly recommend you review your career. And I do have a handy workbook you can use for this! Check out this link to get it complete free! Plus next week’s post will cover some really intense situations and what you can do…)

• A shower when you come home. Seriously, if you’re really struggling to shake off work and get your brain to just shut up about it, take that shower. And really, truly, consciously scrub yourself. I mean, you this song from South Pacific? Same principle….
• Hug a tree. I know. This sounds really hippy-dippy. But there are loads of studies showing the benefits of forest bathing in particular and time with trees in general. (That’s a google scholar link people, not just a google link!!) I know a few people who, at the end of a tough day, will spend some time even just touching a tree and passing on the brain monkeys to the tree. Honestly, the tree can handle it – it really doesn’t care about our human problems!
• Scream. OK, if you’re in a crowded area, or with kids around or whatever, this might not be practical, but scream into a pillow or cushion in that case. Really let rip – you’d be amazed the effect this can have
• Get sweaty. Doesn’t matter how. Just getting sweaty. Preferably doing something that exhausts you so you just can’t think.
• Visualise your workplace. Now visualise laying it down in the middle of a really big, thick, heavy blanket. Wrap the blanket around the workplace. Tie a know at the top of the blanket and hang it off your back door handle. Or somewhere you’ll only pick it up on the way to work the next morning. I will say, I used a box and a tea-towel to do this for months before I managed it in my visualisation, so that’s also an option…

Does that help?

Hopefully that will give you some ideas for what you might do to signal to your brain it’s time to leave work behind. Now, I also realise that if you have a house full of caring responsibilities, or volunteer work, or just other activities, taking the time to do this might seem like just one more bloody thing to do in your day.

And that’s fair.

Some of the stuff I mention above is massively time consuming. And those might not be options for you. So, maybe your ritual is the 1 minute of shut-eye in the car before picking the kids up. Or maybe it’s when you finally get to go to the bathroom after waiting all shift. Or maybe it’s hanging up your jacket when you get back into the house…

The important thing is to pick something. Just one thing. And start doing it. After a while, your brain will fall in line – I promise!