EngineerHer

Making the transition from being an individual contributor to team lead or manager is a tough one. Managing a team is even more difficult if they all suspect or say outright that you got the job because of your gender or affirmative action or something.

I’m here to tell you, as someone who had hired women in multiple levels of the organisation: you categorically did not get that job because of your gender. In fact, your credentials, skills and abilities were probably scrutinised more because of your gender, not less.

Unconscious bias

Now, I’ve written about unconscious bias before in the workplace. (Although I may do a full post on it and some of the research around it…) But it can happen. And because I’m aware, that even as a female engineer, I can have that unconscious bias lurking at the back of my brain, I tend to take longer over diverse applicants in general.

I want to be sure that if I reject them, it’s for a real reason and not for a bias reason.

Equally, if I’m looking at a non-diverse applicant, I try to imagine how I would view the CV if it was coming from a more diverse one. (I mean non-diverse applicant is difficult to define, I suppose, but in engineering in Ireland, let’s go with white, male, local, Irish, English-speaking…)

Now, this isn’t the way everyone goes, but it’s working for me so far. I know there are organisations that go to great lengths to make sure a wide range of diverse applicants are considered. But in some ways that can backfire as well. If you know women are more likely to understate achievements (Two investigations of “female modesty” in achievement situations | Sex Roles (springer.com)) then you need to consider that when reading their CV.

Unconscious bias is a pain, but if you’re aware of your blind spot, you can do something about it!

Be yourself

“Authenticity” is a word thrown around a lot these days, but when managing a team, they will know if you’re faking who you are. Seriously now. There no point in trying to be someone you’re not.

I’m not talking about skills development here. I think none of us were born with the ability to use words like “bigger picture” and “blue sky thinking” with a straight face. Yes, that is indeed a skill. As is talking about team-building in any manner other than going for a few drinks…

But I do mean being yourself. As in – let your team know who you are and what you’re about. I’m fairly straight with my teams on this front. As in, I’m very clear with my teams when I’ve had a bad night’s sleep, or I’m feeling grumpy, or I’m very happy about something.

Getting to know your teams means allowing them to get to know you as well.

So, my teams tend to know my husband has health issues. They also know about my adorable niece who is the light of my life and get subjected to photos on a regular basis. (Or at least the ones who don’t pay attention to when I visit her do. To be fair here, my bosses tend to get the same treatment when my niece is in question. Actually – anyone I work with, in the vicinity of. or near gets to see pics of her. Mostly consensually…

They also learn pretty quickly these days that I have zero interest in sport, but that’s a story for another day.

Let your team know if it’s been a long week. Or a fantastic week. Let them know if there’s a big presentation coming up or there’s extra stress in your life.

Now, you build up to these things of course, and temper it…

Don’t overshare

Yeah, I know, be authentic, but don’t overshare. It’s a balance ok?

Mostly, anyone on my team knows withing a few weeks that if I see my niece, I will be excited as hell before, during and after. I’m open about this. Mainly cos she is adorable and cute (she’s 2 – is there toddler alive who isn’t cute at that age?)

But I tend not to overwhelm them with the more difficult stuff to start with. That I let drip out over time. A casual “I’m running short of sleep this morning” here; a pointed “I haven’t had my coffee yet” there… it all adds up to help them get to know you.

They don’t need to know where you went to college or what precise degree you have – they can learn that off Linkedin.com. If they’re interested in it.

But what they do need to know are things like: how do you like info being presented; when’s a good time of day for a quick project catch up and when’s a good time of day for a more meandering conversation; what are the signs you’re stressed; what’s the level of information you need heading into a big meeting…

And you might be thinking, Orlagh, this is the sort of information you need your manager to know about you, isn’t it? Well yes… but it’s also how relationships are built.

Have a think about what’s essential for your team to know straight away, what can wait a bit, and what’s certain people only or a nice to have.

You’re not going to be everyone’s friend all of the time

Seriously. That’s not the role of the manager. Your job is to lead the team. That means at times you’re a dictator and at others you’re a coach.

I have, and have had, people in the past that I am friendly with and that I consider friends on my teams. But we have drawn clear boundaries around work and friendship. I made mistakes earlier in my career not understanding that boundary. I have made incredible friends throughout my career.

But in work, there needs to be a certain boundary between those you manage and you. Because there are always times you have to lay down the law, with anyone. It might be a company-wide initiative that everyone has to take part in and people are complaining about finding the time to do it. It’s your job to make sure they have the time and actually do it.

You can and will have disagreements with pretty much everyone on your team at some point. That’s engineering. If you don’t have disagreements – do you have a diverse enough team? Have you created a safe atmosphere for people to voice concerns, disagreements, etc? No team manages with zero disagreements and it’s a sign of a well performing team when the disagreements can be handled energetically, but with respect.

And sometimes, you have to over rule everyone – like that company wide initiative situation I mentioned above.

Learn the lingo

I know I mentioned a few hideous business phrases above. But learning managerial lingo will make your life easier as you move upwards in any company.

First and foremost, is learning the way the company operates. This can be a very different experience as a manager than as an individual operator. And honestly, learning to say “This is the way we do things here” and learning which bits of those ways of working are fixed in stone and which can be adapted… vital to your success.

Sometimes I think I get things changed just cos I didn’t realise they were deeply held, foundational systems of an organisation… But that’s a dangerous tack to take and backfires as often as it works.

Every organisation has it’s own way of talking; buzzwords; acronyms… you name it, it will be individualised. And as a manager, it is part of your role to take on that language when speaking to your team on certain issues. There’s no point in talking about a “360” if your organisation refers to the activity as “full circle”.

Equally, if everyone else is talking about “eight step problem solving” and you’re using “A3 process” (both of which are essentially the same thing), it’s only going to mark you as not fitting in. In a bad way.

So, learn the lingo.

Be clear with your team

Honestly, there will be times where you can’t share 100% of what you know with your team. This is life as a leader and/or manager. You can be really clear.

Teams tend to know when something is up. The rumour mill in any organisation is well-setup. It’s sometimes the most efficient process in the entire place.

The problem is, rumours can grow arms, legs and heads as different people add and subtract things to the original comment or conversation. Now, it’s important here to be clear on what you can share and what you can’t share.

I’ve been in situations where people have been panicking about lay offs. Sometimes with reason, sometimes not. All I have ever done in these situations is ask my manager what’s going on or what he can tell me, as well as clarifying what I can tell my team. (And yes, they’ve always been male… )

Sometimes that’s as straightforward as, “yes, I’ve heard the rumours. No one has mentioned lay offs in my hearing that I’d pay attention to.” ( grammar isn’t as important as the message here, ok?)

Or it could be, “I’ve heard some discussions but there’s nothing concrete yet from a source I’d trust.” On occasions where I do know more, I’ve said “This is what I’m permitted to share at this time.”

It’s awkward when this happens at the beginning of your tenure, but it gets easier the longer you have to build up those relationships with your team. It may not always be comfortable, but it does get easier.

It’s not easy

Please don’t underestimate the new skill set leading and managing a team requires of you. We haven’t even mentioned the HR requirements, the quality, the financial, payroll….

There is a skill set required, including both hard skills and soft skills, when you start managing or leading a team. Spend some time rooting out the training you need here. In fact, there’s no harm in doing some training before you step into the role.

Learn about giving feedback, coaching skills, mentoring skills, difficult conversations… Read, watch videos, see what resources your organisation offers, see what’s available on the internet.

There are loads of sources available these days. There are mountains of books on the topics above.

And above all – remember who you are. You were hired to do this job. You were considered by the organisation to be well able to do this. You can do this.

And if you want to have a chat about it or reach out in any way, drop me a line: info@engineerher.org