EngineerHer

A few weeks ago, I was working with a client and talking about how life is difficult right now. And as part of the discussion, some of her values came up. Two in particular came across very strongly: “getting the full value from an experience” and “being efficient with kids schools”.

On further examination, it turned out that the definition of “value” here was based on familial values rather than personal values and might not be relevant any more.

Why is this important?

When we live life according to our values, life gets easier. Decisions are made that are in line with those values and life appears to flow a bit better. A few years ago, well ok, many years ago now, I worked in the defence industry. And I couldn’t figure out why I was so miserable.

It was several years later I figured out that since I am predominantly pacifist, or at least anti-war, working in the defence industry was not the most sensible option for me. I felt pulled in multiple directions. Almost literally at war with myself.

When I moved into pharma and med devices, I found it easier to align my work with my values. (Please note, Big Pharma has a better reputation in Ireland than in the States because our government has a different relationship with social welfare. Not as strong as I’d like, but definitely better in this area.)

I was working with organisations that were actively working towards making the world a better place. Even if it was only for <1000 people worldwide, they were making drugs and devices to allow people to live full lives.

It made a difference.

How do you figure out what’s important?

Well, one way is to look at what guides your decisions? Very often, our first thought is cost. But it’s not always as strong a value as we think it is.

Cost is almost always standing in for something else in my experience. I mean, ok one of the major reasons I haven’t bought a house is cost… or at least funds availability.

But a lot of the time, if I reframe things to “what needs to be true for this to happen”, I look at things differently. And it turns out, cost is rarely the issue.

We can get blinded by things, because they are obviously the problem. Except… they’re not always.

Here’s where values come in.

Values for the win

Especially as women, very often we feel tied to a role or a job because of loyalty. Or fear. And very often fear is what masquerades as loyalty. This happens even more when you’re in a role where you feel you have earned some consideration, flexible working, a bit of extra give when things like children getting sick come up.

But honestly, that sort of consideration is usually inherent in the organisation’s way of doing things rather than dependent on your tenure in your position. Seems strange I know. But most organisations have some form of flexible working and hybrid working options, both temporary and permanent.

So, have a think about your values. A quick google search will produce what appears to be millions of lists of values to peruse and contemplate. But really, you want to reduce it down to about 5.

Yeah, I mean it. Five.

Why? Cos any more than that and it become a list of synonyms. If you’re deciding between the technical differences between “kind” and “compassionate”, then it really doesn’t matter which one goes on the list! Trust me.

How to align your role with your values

It’s possible that your job is just a means of making money and getting home in plenty of time to spend time with your family. If that’s the case and you’re earning enough, no problem at all. Your job fills exactly the role in life you want it to.

But maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you’re bored out of your mind in work and need something new. Or maybe the values your organisation espouses don’t match yours and it’s wearing on you. Maybe you’re like me, when I was working in the defence industry, struggling to see what was wrong and only realising it years after the fact.

Either way, it’s a good idea to know which values you want to align your life to and then see if those values are possible to work with in your job.

If you want to help young people, is it possible to help out with graduates, interns, apprentices or school outreach?

If efficiency is your gig, can you implement business processes or streamline something?

Or when you look at your list of values, is your work holding you back?

Next steps

Once you have your list of 5 values (yes, I’m still insisting on 5), and you’ve considered the gap assessment between your job and your values, it’s time to make some decisions.

These can be some tweaks – committing to one late night a week at the office rather than 5. Or that a late night is a mere 90mins over time rather than 3 hours. (no, I swear, I’ve never done that…. I swear… fingers crossed firmly behind my back!)

It could be that you sign up to a training program in work. Or that you get started on sprucing up your CV and your LinkedIn profile. It could be sitting down with a partner, friend, coach, trusted colleague to talk through your values, where you see the gaps and how you might fill them in.

This is something I do regularly with the coaching, as well as figuring out what the actual values you care about are and the values that are important to people around you but not necessarily important to you. And sometimes, when it’s family values we’re looking at, it can be hard to separate yourself from them.

But baby steps, people, baby steps!